Today is the first day of 2012 and I've started it off with a bang! First, I didn't stay up to bring in the New Year or participate in any of the New Year traditions. We've been working on a complete tear out and rebuild of our hallway bathroom which has consumed most of my time during my vacation. Don't get me wrong, it has gone really well and I've really enjoyed it, but I was tired last night. To get back on topic, it's the morning of 1 JAN 2012 and I woke up around 10:45 to find that my wife and kids were gone to church; without me.... I woke up the first time around 02:30am and remained awake for at least an hour or more. You see, I'm one of those people that once I get woke up, I'm done (in most cases) no matter how much or little sleep I get. The missing point here however, is that my wife was awake, and I assume she had been awake for some time yet she still managed to get up, get the kids ready and off to Church for the 09:15 service. So as I sat here on the couch drinking a cup of coffee feeling convicted, I started praying. In fact, while I laid in bed last night wide awake, I began to pray. Now I won't bore you with the details of what was going on, but suffice it to say there were yet another of life's trials keeping us up.
The late Ike Brissey and I used to talk about this type of thing often and I remember discussing, "Boy, if I had the faith of the disciples and could just walk with Jesus, I would be so much more faithful and reliable to Christ." As Ike reminded me, the disciples were just like you and me; ordinary. They were lower class individuals who were allowed to take part in many miraculous things. And, after spending a lifetime on Earth with Jesus, at the moment of truth, some of them hid and denied even knowing Jesus(MAT26:31-34). In fact, Jesus knew that Judas would betray him and even identified it at the last supper (MAT 26:21) before Judas sold Jesus out to the Romans. These men literally walked and talked with Christ in the flesh! They saw many amazing things first hand (many of them even wrote books of the Bible telling their own account) yet the Bible let's us in on a little preached about, even known, little secret; the Disciples were human.... Yep, they were just like me, ordinary. While Jesus knew a horrible death was coming, he demonstrates how human he is later in MAT 26 when, as he was talking with Peter, James, and John and said, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." (MAT26: 38 NIV)
I tell you all these things to tell you that I am very burdened as I write this blog. Realizing that I slept through Church (be assured, my guilt is not out of obligation to be at Church, rather it is out of knowing we have such a wonderful Church where lives are changed every single service), was not together with my wife when I should've been, and did not set the proper example for my children. Some of you may be thinking, "What's the big deal?" You see, I accepted a free relationship with Christ who has blessed me and my family with SO MUCH! As I've said in my other blogs, God doesn't want to beat me up and be a dictator, he wants to enjoy a relationship with me. I've asked God for the blessings in life without being willing to man up when I'm tired. And this folks, translates to, "sin". How do I recover? Simple; "Lord, I am sorry. I don't mean to take your love for me for granted. Please forgive me and help me remember how wonderful you are. Help me man up when I'm tired. I love you Lord!"
My goal for this year? Step up, man up, and be more, "Courageous" all for the cause of Christ!
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